Meekness, also known as clemency, is related to the virtue of humility and provides the self-control necessary for us to master feelings of anger.
In the course of our work, our apostolates, and of family life, there are many things that can make us angry, whether that be true injustices or merely the usual clashes, large and small, which we experience when dealing with other people. The virtue of meekness allows us to feel peace as we fulfil the duties of our state in life and ensures our judgement is not clouded by an excess of anger and emotion.
This section on meekness is taken from Chapter 8 of The School of Christian Perfection by Saint Alphonsus de Liguori. (Click here to find meditations on the other moral virtues.)
The Virtue of Meekness
Humility and meekness were the favorite virtues of Jesus Christ, and He recommended them in a particular manner to His disciples when He said: “Learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart.” (Matt. 11:29). Our Divine Redeemer was called the “Lamb of God,” not only on account of the Sacrifice He was to make of Himself on the Cross in expiation for sin, but also on account of the meekness that characterized His whole life and particularly during His bitter Passion. When He was rudely buffeted by the servant of Caiphas and charged with a want of respect for the high priest, He meekly replied: “If I have spoken ill, give testimony thereof; but if well, why strikest thou me?” (John 18:23). When He hung upon the Cross and His enemies loaded Him with insults and ignominy, He turned to His heavenly Father and said: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34).
How dear to God are those meek souls who bear with all manner of offenses and indignities without giving way to anger! Their prayer is acceptable to God, says Holy Scripture (Jdth. 9:16); that is, it will always be heard. “Heaven,” says Father Alvarez, “is, in a particular manner, the home and country of those who on earth are despised and trampled under foot.” Indeed it is to these, and not to the proud who are honored and esteemed by the world, that the possession of the Kingdom of Heaven is promised. The Royal Psalmist assures us that the meek will not only possess happiness in the life to come, but even in this life: “They shall delight in abundance of peace.” (Ps. 36:11).
St. Teresa says that she seemed to experience a more than ordinary love for those who spoke ill of her. In the acts of Canonization we read that by injuries one could obtain her love in an especial degree. To such meekness we can never attain without deep humility, a humble opinion of ourselves, and a desire to be treated with contempt. Pride is angry and vindictive because of the high opinion we have of ourselves and the craving for honors that we think we deserve.
The spirit of God is a spirit of meekness. “My spirit is sweet as honey.” (Ecclus. 24:27). St. Francis de Sales, a master and model of holy meekness, says: “Humble meekness is the virtue of virtues, which our Divine Redeemer has most urgently recommended to us; therefore we must practice it everywhere and at all times.” Meekness must be exercised especially towards the poor and the sick; towards the poor because, on account of their poverty, they are often harshly treated; towards the sick because they suffer so much and are often left without assistance. Superiors should act with meekness towards their subjects, and when giving an order, they should ask rather than command. St. Vincent de Paul says that superiors have no better means of winning the affection and obedience of their subjects than by meekness.
This was also the opinion of St. Jane Chantal. “I have tried all kinds of treatment,” she says; “the mild and patient is the best.” “Nothing is so edifying,” says St. Francis de Sales, “as amiable meekness.” On the lips of this servant of God there hovered a continual smile. His countenance, his conversation, his whole being breathed meekness. St. Vincent de Paul declared that he had never known a meeker man than the Bishop of Geneva. He saw in him a living copy of the goodness and kindness of Jesus Christ. Even when, not to burden his conscience, he had to refuse a request, he couched his refusal in such gentleness and love as to win the cheerful assent of the petitioner; and in spite of a refusal, the latter went away contented. He was meek towards everyone, his superiors, his equals and his inferiors; towards the members of his household and towards strangers. He never complained about his servants; seldom did he reprove them, and then always with gentleness. What a contrast between this saint and those who, according to St. Francis’ own words, “seem to be angels abroad and devils at home.”
Meek Correction
If you, Christian reader, are called upon to administer a reproof, do so as St. Francis did, with meekness. To correct emphatically is one thing; to reprove harshly is another. To reprehend in a very positive manner is sometimes necessary, when the fault committed is a serious one or when repeated warnings have been in vain. But we must guard against using an angry tone which betrays an absence of self-control; this often does more harm than good. It is this bitter zeal that St. James deprecates so much. Many imagine that the best and only way to treat subordinates is by harsh deportment, to fill them with reverential awe and dread. But St. James, the Apostle, is of quite a different opinion. He says: “If you have bitter zeal, glory not. This is not wisdom descending from above, but earthly, sensual, devilish. But the wisdom that is from above is . . . peaceable, modest, full of mercy and good fruits.” (James 3:14, 15, 17). If you are obliged to speak in a stern manner to impress the culprit with the gravity of his fault, at least conclude your remarks with some kind words to take the sting out of the reproof. Like the good Samaritan, you must heal the wound with oil and wine.
When oil is mixed with other liquids it always comes to the top; so you too, says St. Francis de Sales, in all that you do, let meekness and gentleness predominate. If the person you wish to reprove is very much agitated, it is better to wait until he has grown calm; otherwise you only aggravate him the more. If a house is on fire, it is not the proper thing to throw wood on it.
“You know not of what spirit you are.” (Luke 9:55). So spoke the Blessed Redeemer to St. John and his brother St. James when they wished Him to chastise the Samaritans. Ah, what sort of a spirit is that! Our Redeemer wished to say: It is not My spirit; My spirit is meekness and gentleness. “The Son of man came not to destroy souls, but to save” (Luke 9:56), and you wish Me to bring about their destruction.
Our Saviour’s Meekness
With what meekness and gentleness did not Our Lord speak to the woman taken in sin! “Woman,” said He, “hath no man condemned thee? Who said: No man, Lord. And Jesus said: Neither will I condemn thee. Go, and now sin no more.” (John 8:10–11). With similar meekness He spoke to and converted the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well. At first He merely asked for a drink of water; and then He said: “O didst thou but know who it is that saith to thee: ‘Give me to drink!’” (John 4:10). Finally He revealed to her that He was the promised Messias. What touching tenderness our Saviour displayed towards the treacherous Apostle Judas. He permitted him to eat from the same dish with Himself; He knelt and washed his feet; at the very moment when he was consummating his crime our Saviour warned him with these touching words: “Judas, dost thou betray the Son of man with a kiss?” (Luke 22:48). How did He win back St. Peter after the Apostle had denied Him? He did not reproach him. When passing from the house of the high priest, He turned and looked tenderly upon Peter, and that tender look wrought such a conversion in the heart of the Apostle that during the remainder of his life he wept bitterly over the offense he had given his Divine Master.
Meekness accomplishes far more than anger and bitterness. St. Francis de Sales says there is nothing so bitter as a green walnut; put it in preserve, and it becomes sweet and agreeable. In like manner reproofs, however unpleasant they may be in themselves, become acceptable and productive of good results when administered with meekness and love. By reason of his wonderful meekness, St. Francis de Sales could do whatever he wished; he even succeeded in leading the most obstinate sinners back to God. St. Vincent de Paul was animated with a like spirit and he wished it to be the characteristic of his disciples. “Gentleness, love and humility,” he was wont to say, “have a wonderful effect in winning the hearts of men and in causing them to do willingly what is opposed to human nature.”
You must endeavor to be mild and amiable to everyone, under all circumstances and at all times. “There are many,” says St. Bernard, “who are full of sweetness as long as things go their way; but when they meet with contradiction they break forth in fire and flames, and fume like a veritable Vesuvius. They are like the coals that glow beneath the ashes.” He who desires to become a saint must live like a lily among thorns; it is always a lily no matter how much the thorns may prick it. In other words he must always be meek and amiable. The exterior of a soul that loves God will reflect the peace that reigns within alike in prosperity and adversity. If we must answer one who offends us, let us do so with meekness. “A mild answer breaketh wrath,” says Holy Scripture. (Prov. 15:1). If we are too excited, it is better to remain silent. In the heat of passion it seems right to say everything that comes to the tongue; but when anger has subsided we find we have committed as many faults as we have spoken words.
Meekness Towards Oneself
Should we have the misfortune to commit a fault, we must exercise meekness even towards ourselves. To be angry with oneself after committing a fault is not a sign of humility, but of secret pride; it shows that we do not regard ourselves as the weak and wretched creatures that we really are. St. Aloysius said: “The devil likes to fish in troubled waters, where we can distinguish nothing.” If a soul is distracted and disturbed it is very hard for it to recognize God and its duties. When, therefore, we have committed a fault, we must turn to the Lord with humility and confidence, beg Him for pardon and say with St. Catherine of Genoa: “Lord, see, here is fruit from my own garden! But pardon me, I beg Thee! I repent from my heart of having offended Thee; I will do so no more; give me the aid of Thy holy grace.” “Never,” says St. Francis de Sales, “permit anger to enter the soul under any pretext whatever; for once the violent passion has found lodgment in the heart, it is not in our power to banish it.”
Seek to control the emotions of anger at once by remaining silent, or by thinking of something else. Do as the Apostles did when they were tossed about by the stormy sea; they had instant recourse to their Divine Master; He alone can still the storms of the human heart. If in consequence of weakness, anger has entered your heart, do all in your power to regain your composure and act humbly and meekly towards him who was the occasion of your angry feelings. St. Francis tells us that it cost him much labor to overcome his two predominant passions, anger and love. To conquer his angry passion he struggled for twelve long years. With regard to love, he changed its object, detaching himself entirely from creatures and giving his whole love to God.
It was a practice with the Saints during prayer and meditation to bring to mind all the annoyance and obstacles they were apt to encounter in the course of the day, and to prepare themselves in advance to endure them with meekness and humility. Thus they were enabled to put into practice the counsel of their gentle Saviour: “Learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls.” (Matt. 11:29).
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